I feel like Im entertaining myself after certain things i've done. take it or leave it.

Bangkok~!

=((

What a day!

Damn printer! freak! I need to print some important documents earlier AND ... I found out that my freaky printer RAN OUT of ink! AND this make DON ... Hero of the day! He help me with the printing. Since he is in office.. "MAKE USE OF THE FACILITIES! THATS THE WAY!" lol

My pics were all in laptop. havent get a chance to use the lappy. Nevermind... one day i will post up the pics on bangkok. ONE DAY! Just summit DAE application form to NYP but I still have to send my result slip to the school by 14 march. What kind of student am i?! Not even a school want me! There's courses but im just being picky! maybe i should fuck off to oversea ya? hee

Edwin wanted to meet me but I just got so turn off to see him. IN FACT, I totally forget about Im meeting him earlier 6pm at tampines. I mean I dont feel comfortable with him. Dont feel enjoyable at all. why must I waste my energy?! Freak! go away!

Today - Chocolate Day for me! tit bits! haha!! Xian need a MC for 2days and I pretend to be lye xian hui for a couple of mins. "KENG" /"GENG" (whatever the spelling) just for my darling. USING the same of story.. "doc, i got a strain ligament. did x-ray. but still pain." and resulting 2DAYS MC!

smile

I was surprise that he called me early in the morning... sharing the same feeling as how i feel. I want him but i cant him. In the beginning, we said we will not think about how future will be like. I dont know how we go about but in the end, the future thingy still affect us. well.. let nature take its course. when its yours its yours. yep

i've done my appeal letter to sp and tender my resignation letter. now time to do some research on private school and study loan not forgetting going back to school for recommendation letter from former lecturer. my portfolio too ( very important) i need a superb ones and professional! so tough! =(

suntec IT show. I saw ivan again at IT show. tsk! i wonder why is there so many of blackie?! kept push and push! nb! feel like pushing them hard! forget it! LAPTOP LAPTOP LAPTOP! ate ice cream! so so nice... hehe.. chocolate!! jerry is sick in Cambodia. so poor thing.. must be enjoy too much with all the girls there. been treated like a king. being serve.

4D is really waste of money. tsk! not even near! not even a single sign of it! KNN!

p.s i wish i wish i wish ...

Imagine

Been thinking and imagine how life will be different going for oversea studying. I dont know why, but there's something that I just wanna run away from. I will feel totally relax not been in Singapore. No matter where, as long I step out of Singapore I feel great. But leaving here for oversea studies will be a great challenge for me. Im not strong enough, not independent enough. Perhaps I should just being throw somewhere knowing Im just alone and only I can help myself.

Bangkok is just a memory with him. Perhaps Im just finding reason running away. Im going nowhere with this damn nitec cert. Im so far away from what I wanted. No point complaining. Help myself!! arghh... focus on what I want in life now. no more boys boys thingy.

BANGKOK

Back In Singapore. I left my heart in bangkok. Forgot to bring it back. Spent a 4days 3nights there with Mikhail. Enjoyment all I can say. Shop till you drop. Everything I see I wanna buy. 4days and 3nights was so happy with him. Its just a short-term happiness. Back in Singapore = Back to reality. Been observing and seeing him from behind without any judging. Hes been so nice making sure Im not lost, holding me tight when we are at sleazy area. I guess this trip was so sweet and nice becos of his company. In fact this trip leave me wanting him even more. But knowing that impossible and sadly leaving it behind.

1st day then 2nd day then come the 3rd day (wish it was just the 1st day) and I got so so low when its the 4th day. Shop and shop, explore and explore. =) Pictures and videos i want it to be in here. Sealed it in my memories.

The bedrooms. The Taxi. The skytrain. The environment. The massage. The kisses. The hugs. The hands. I miss them all. Happiness alway will come to an end. Gotta move on again.

I'll be back Bangkok!

---

My application for poly was unsuccessful. I got so lost, confused, sad and pressured. Hours of thinking.

First, I shall

Appeal again
then
Private
then
Oversea studies

Gotta check out the study loan. The courses. So what if I got top 25% in the whole school. In The End (ITE), I fail to go poly. My mood level is blinking. (low) My emotional level is blinking too. I feel like Im left with nothing. Im so useless right now. Im so dependent. Im feel like Im a child knowing nothing at all. My confident level is blinking also. Im so so low right now.

go away!

Im going bangkok in a day time! =)

Oh.. someone beat around the bush asking if Im going oversea this coming good friday?! I dont even know good friday is any nearer. He already knows that Im going then why he need to beat around the bush?! I simply dont care if he knows about it at 1st I just want him to get the idea of GET OUT OF MY LIFE! And he start off with a "girls are complicated" eh! but your brain consider as the MUCH COMPLICATED ONES AMONG THE MALE SPECIES. even you're trying to be concern or kpo or whatever ... I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM! (too complicated) im sorry but I just dont like it. esp on giving me ur "ADVICE" or "YOUR SAY". but what do you know?! or how much you know?! BItCH!! BITCH!
i shall call you the "complicated boy"
Its my space. I got my rights to complaint here!

Im still totally in love with my PSP. tsk!