Betting

use your brain before you bet! betting on something that you wasnt even sure, throw in so much money... isnt is = throw money into the sea? what's more ridiculous?! bet on every single match even though you know it will lose. what the fuck i will tell you! having mentality trying to win back... hey get a life! thats not the way. imagine you play stocks.. haha.. for sure BANKRUPT! use your damn brain la bitch! knn... damn you! go kill yourself

boring ahhhhh

Q1. What's the connection between you & the last person that called you?
Complicated
Q2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
yep
Q3. What happened at 10.00am today?
sleeping
Q4.When did you last cry?
not sure
Q5.What is the favourite thing to eat with peanut butter?
waffle?
Q6.What do you want in your life right now?
money
Q7.Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
walk in the rain
Q8.What's the favourite thing to have on your bed?
pillow
Q9. What bottom are you wearing now?
mizuno
Q10.What is the nicest text in your inbox say?
no message
Q11.Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
already complicated
Q12. Are you wearing you borrowed from someone?
hahaha
Q13.What was the last movie you caught?
narnia
Q14.What are you proud of?
got in lasalle
Q15.What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
from sis abt cat
Q16.What was the last song you sang out loud?
alway be my baby
Q17.Do you have any nicknames?
alot man..
Q18.What does your last recieved text message say?
yes!
Q19.What time did you go to bed last night?
6am
Q20.Are you currently happy?
am bored
Q21.Who gives you the best advice?
my dear friends
Q22.Do you eat whipped cream from the can?
nope
Q23. Who did you talk on the phone last night?
complicated someone
Q24.What are you afraid of now?
no money
Q25.What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
mik
Q26. Do you wear the toe socks?
nope
Q27.Who was the last person you missed a call from?
gina
Q28. Have you ever had your heart broken?
yep
Q29.What annoys you most in person?
irritating asses
Q30. Do you have a crush on someone?
no
Q31. Do you hate loving him?
is that love?
Q32. What is the color of your room?
boring colour.. nothing interesting
Q33.Would you kill someone you hate for a billon dollars?
hmmm think abt it
Q34.Do you believe in the saying "talk in cheap"????
singapore language eH?
Q35. Who is the last person who lay in your bed?
myself
Q36.Who was the last person who hug you?
human
Q37.What do you want to say to the person you love?
lets die together =D
Q38. Do you have a life?
i have?
Q39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn't?
yea
Q40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
nice.
Q41. Who was the last person you saw in your dreams?
mik
Q42. Last time you smiled?
last night
Q43. Have you changed this year?
have i?
Q44. What are you listening to right now?
alway be my baby - david cook
Q45. Are you talking to someone when you are doing this?
no
Q46.Do you walk with your eyes open or close?
open and close
Q47.It's there a quote you live by?
puki ayam
Q48.Do you want someone you cant have?
no.
Q49.Have you ever played an instrument?
Yes
Q50. What was the worst idea you had in week?
rejection
Q51.What was you doing at 11.00pm?
hmmm movie
Q52.Are you happy with your love life right now?
am i even in love life? lol
Q53.What song(s) describe your life?
i dono boy
Q54. Does the person know that you like her/him?
yea
Q55. Who always make you laugh?
friends
Q56. Do you speak other language other than English?
hokkien! lol
Q57.Are you blond?
im black!
Q58.What's your middle name?
xue
Q59.What are you doing tomorrow?
I need to go bank tml!
Q60. What do you think you are like?
human!
Q61. Who will you choose to die with you?
my soul!
Q62.Where have you been today?
home alone
Q63. What game do you play often?
psp game
Q64.Who are you missing right now?
xian...
Q65.If you've to choose between friends & love, which will you choose?
family
Q66. What are you doing right now?
typing
Q67. Which Primary school are you from?
fengshan
Q68.Name three colours that you like.
orange purple red
Q69. What emotions you like to show?
mixed emotions
Q70. What is life to you?
explore
Q71.If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
stare blank
Q72.Who did you last chat to in msn today?
JJ
Q73. Who do you admire the most?
dont remember
Q74. Which month are you born in?
sep
Q75. How are you feeling right now?
tired
Q76. What is the time now?
4.57pm
Q77. Where are you now?
hm
Q78. What colour did you use to dye your hair?
copper
Q79.Why are you doing this test?
bored
Q80. What do you do when you're moody?
complain
Q81.At which age, you want to get married?
28
Q82. Who are the people thats important to you?
friends family
Q83. Do you think you have enough confident?
no
Q84. Who is the person you trust the most?
dono
Q85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
yes.. I M GETTING BORED OF THE QNES~!
Q86. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
a good class bungalow, a big yard behind the bungalow and one kangaroo in AUS
Q87. What is your goals for this year?
get to la salle and pass la
Q88. Do you believe in eternity love?
no forever.. be realistic
Q89.What do you love?
money
Q90.Do you really think its Global Warming now?
yes! u see the amount of pollution!
Q91.What feeling you hate the most?
bored! fuck up feeling!
Q92. You cherish every single friendship of yours?
yes!
Q93. Do you believe in God?
i dono
Q94. Who cares for you the most?
i know u know
Q95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
money. friends. lover. family.
Q96. What'll you bring when you fight?
typical China ppl!
Q97. What have you regretted doing in whole life?
being too playful! and too curious abt things
Q98. What would you feel when everyone no longer cares for you?
dont bother
Q99. What if your stead two-timed you?
i double up his pain =))
Q100.What do you want now?
money

You complain!!

Well another complain post. make it the last i hope.

dear mik,

since you're still having the intention knowing ppl, why dont you just let me know or jolly well let me off? at least i wont be forever stuck here right. hey, dont treat me like a spare tyre! i dont deserve that! who are you to treat me this way? you cant decide what you want. if you fear about relationship, why not i suggest we go into an open relationship? things are all so simple but why must you complicate it? its just whether you want or you dont want. its as simple as that. I dont find you worthy for me to just be looking at you when ure having other intention. I cant alway be the moon. Im the moon while ure the earth for the past two yrs. baby, give me what i deserve. I dont trust you just from the things that you do. you are not even proving to me that I should believe you. I dont own a ground. anytime, i will get kick out. why let's just slowing move on with our life? i suggest that and think its the best way out.

may.

Sunday Vivo City

The night before, hang out with Ben and the rest. Superb! There will only be laughter when they're around. Esp with jeremy. I love the Super Duper lame friends! Stayed over at gina's hse for the night but went home early in the morning. Well, due to i've to meet my dear boy in the evening.

Sex and the city. I enjoy it! hmmm, dint know he will wanna watch this kind of show. Browsing for camera before the show start. hmmm.. mount faber! after how long? If i dint remember wrongly, its one yr ago.

I still miss Bangkok! Perhaps that the 1st time I felt being well-protected by him. =)

p.s time pass so quickly today. =(

One proper blog without complains =)

Today hung out with my beloved sister and my lil god-bro with his kinda irritating young sister. ( I told mik they're my cousins. oops. I m too lazy to tell the long story about the come about with this lil god-brother. Forgive me! ) Went Lasalle to confirm my position there and enquire about CPF payment. (what to do... im not a rich girl BUT doesnt matter im born for who i am) LASALLE! New chapter of my life and at last I see a lil glow in my life with a step closer to what I want to be. I tot I saw mik's friend but doesnt matter wasnt close with him too. After LASALLE, Galare! (Every tuesday 50% off on all food! Sweet!) Coming up next... K box! All the way till 9pm. Enjoying my time and the company. Dinner! my dear ah li and jeremy ordered something nicer and i mean alot nicer than my food! the chicken set meal. the Ayam superb la! superb curry! I wanna have that with mik! I wanna share with him can! Hung out with gina and jason ( as usual ) Uno stacko! FUN FUN FUN!

I found lil god bro 's blog. Reading Reading Reading ( i know i know Im damn kpo ) he really have grown up. Reading at his blog let me feel back in my secondary school days. Those were the superb times!

Song in my mind and it just keep playing over and over again with mik in mind.
" You’ll always be a part of me
I’m part of you indefinitely "

Well, I dont know how long will this whole damn complicating relationship last. To be frank, I hate to lose him.

(I hang out too much, too lil time at home. Amount of time spending with my dear parents are too lil, there's a huge gap in between. I feel as though home is like hotel. I hate this feeling. I know I should not hang out so much and come back home more often but communicate with my parents wasnt as easy and comfortable like before.)

Why human cant stop looking at others' people fault when they did something similar about it! "Ain't you contradicting yourself?"
There's no excuse for doing something when you got the heart. Stop looking at my wrong when you did wrong me before.

I dont have to explain ... find out yourself!

I like the way we're now. it's like as if we were in love and a happy couple although we're not. How long can this last nobody knows. I just hate the feeling when you WANT me to do something BUT you aint doing it! fuck! Im so fucked! once again

wahahaha

last night was a super spoil mood night. Thanks to those fuckers. Jeremy's cousin's friend or is it Jeremy's cousin? Whatever it is, they are just bloody motherfucker! Speak without using his brain. Logic without going thru their brain. Make it simple, They are brainless. Whats with the criticizing? whats with the flip flap ang mo doing in simpan? afterall, JUST AN ARMY BOY. Criticizing someone make ur life happier? I dont need ur approver for leave that place. moreover with ur existence, i wouldnt want to stay any longer. Im afraid i might talk back to you making the night fuck up for the rest.

what's the big deal w name card? oh man... hahahaha... i got so much say about them. tsk! as long ure in front line u will have namecard what. oh man. mountain turtle. getalife, open ur eyes wide as well as ur legs. u WILL climb up the hill faster in this way.

"lol, since when ppl will ask 'you want my namecard?'"
"so stingy!"
"its just like 10cents per piece. tsk!"
"i got picture on my name card. you have?"
LAUGHTER~~~!!!!

lol last night after gina, jason and i left the place. we scream and start gossiping abt them. tsktsktsk.

I look down on these fuckers! I wonder who call them down. =)

Finalize

THE END.

my love letter

mik,

do u know I feel like being trap in ur cage? u wanna know anything, i let you know. u wanna see my phone, go ahead. like i say, i dont need any privacy when i got nothing to hide am i right or not. moreover, when i was talking abt certain things, u will get so agitated easily. what is wrong baby?! im so open with you toward my lifestyle. my friends. i tell you the truth but can you accept? it is another matter. do u know how much i have done for u?! how much i have sacrifice?! i m saying u did not. but right now, i really cant breathe do u know? it feel like one-way thing. u get it or not? 2yrs ago, this month. i feeling the same shitty feeling. 2years later.. still the same. perhaps. i shld just take things eassy. .. urfriend... nelson tan.. hes alway affecting me. in fact. im not interested w ur friends! enough of all the discussion u guys have .. nel told me afew of them discuss abt us. im not alien u know. . i dont need him to tell me that.. "he feel u did not treat me well the last time" now my tears.. flowing down.. w/o knowing why am i crying. my heart and my mind dont seems to be feeling anything or thinink abt anything but tears justs flow down. i m staring blank like as if im mad.

well.. u finally, will rise ur voice talking to me. i feel so glad. u finally cant take my shit, i feel so peace. u finally can say anything so easily... i feel like heaven. kill me bitch!

may...

long time ago since my last post? lol. been so so busy with work and enjoying life. eyes look as good as panda. tsk!

sigh.. am I single or what? fuck the complicated relationship. why make things so complicated? why fear when you like someone?! no courage to face consequences then drop the idea of wanting to love someone. tsk!

i know i shldnt have complain, shldnt have compare. so well, just drop the idea. dont feel like talkin abt it.

i brought my LG viewty! got fed up smsing.. touch screen attimes, not very sensitive. tsk!

Story~

very 1st song:Jenny

he calls me baby
then she wont call me
says she adores me
and then ignores me
(Jenny, What's the problem?)

She keeps her distance
and sits on fences
puts up resistance
and builds defenses
(Jenny, Whats the problem?)

You keep me hanging on the line
everytime you change your mind

First you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me

She needs her own space
she's playing mind games
ends up at my place
saying that she's changed
(Jenny, what's the problem?)

I'm trying to read between the lines
you got me going out of my mind

First you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me

(ohh ohh ooohhhh)
It's killing me
(ohh ohh ooohhhh)
It's killing me
(ohh ohh ooohhhh)
Jenny

First you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me

First you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me

It's killing me

Jenny

Soon enough. Buay tahan all the craps..
"Separated"

Oh no, no, no, no

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky
We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible
Then we are lost in sin
Because its not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport
We're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean
Then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Girl I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Girl you know I love you, I can't deny
I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I
I know it hurts so much but it's best for us
Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust
So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry
It's killing me so, why don't you go

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Then a "Just an old boyfriend" [Still missing but just an old boyfriend]

I see you on the street
My broken heart still skips a beat
I hear your name inside I go insane
Baby each day that we don't touch
is one more day it hurts too much
I can't forget the love that we made

But there'll come the moment that we're gonna meet (again)
Baby it won't even bother me
Trying to make it to the day you'll be
Just an old boyfriend
Won't be thinking of you every night
Only wishing we could only try
Won't tear me up inside
Just an old boyfriend

Anyone can see the love we killed is killing me
I'm just so sad to lose what we had - Oh yeah
There's no doubt that I should be ok by now
But I'm not there yet
It hurts me so bad but

From the moment that we're gonna meet (again)
Baby it won't even bother me
I'll be looking to the day you'll be
just an old boyfriend
Won't be thinking of you every night
Only be wishing we could only try
You won't tear me up inside
just an old boyfriend

Nothing more and nothing less
No more living with regret
Your memory won't get
The best of me,the best of me
Oh you're gonna see

[Chorus x2]


*Come with a "Teardrops on my guitar" [soon met someone but ...]

[Verse 1:]
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see,
That I want and I'm needing, everything that we should be,
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about,
And she's got ev'rything that I have to live without...

Drew talks to me, I laugh 'cause it's just so dam funny,
But I can't even see anyone when he's with me,
He says he's so in love, he's fin'lly got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night...

[Chorus:]

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only thing that keeps me wishin' on a wishin' star,
He's the song in the car I keep singin', don't know why I do...

[Verse 1:]

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be,
[Teardrops On My Guitar lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

She better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause...

[Chorus]
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only thing that keeps me wishin' on a wishin' star,
He's the song in the car I keep singin', don't know why I do...

[Bridge:]
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light,
I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight...

[Chorus]
Cause he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart,
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do...

He's the time taken up, but there's never enough,
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see...

"Bleeding Love" [Perfect one]Bleeding love sigh...
Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say

[Bleeding Love lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I....

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I....

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I....

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

Lastly, "Only god can explain"
There's a lot of things I understand
And there's a lot of things
I don't want to know
But you're the only face I recognize
It's so damn sweet of you
To look me in the eyes

Chrous:
It's all right, I'm O.K.
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's all right, I'm O.K.
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get over it yet

The scent of vaseline
In the summertime
The feel of an icecube
Melting over time
The world seems bigger than both of us
Yet it seems so small
When I begin to cry

Chorus

I'm so much better than you guessed
I'm so much bigger than you guessed
I'm so much brighter than you guessed

Chorus (last line changed to:)
I'll get off of your back

I think God can explain
I think God can explain
I think God can explain
[I Think God Can Explain Lyrics on



---
sweet songs..

*"My Valentine" comes into picture

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time...
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

(SOLO)

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
'Cause all I need is you, my Valentine
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine.

"goodnight goodnight"
You left me hanging from a thread we once swung from together
I lick my wounds but I can never see them getting better
Something’s gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

Her hair was pressed against her face, her eyes were red with anger
Enraged by things unsaid and empty beds and bad behavior
Something’s gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I’m sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of the heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right, yeah
Whoa

The room was silent as we all tried so hard to remember
The way it feels to be alive
The day that he first met her
Something’s gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

You make me think of someone wonderful, but I can’t place her
[Goodnight Goodnight lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

I wake up every morning wishing one more time to face her
Something’s gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I’m sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right

So much to love
So much to learn
But I won’t be there to teach you, oh
I know I can't be close
But I try my best to reach you

I’m so sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right, yeah
Whoa, oh…
Yeah

---

"lips of an angel" says it all
Honey why are you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk crying now.
Honey why you´re crying? Is everything okay?
I've gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words just makes me weak

And I
never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
Does he know you're talking to me?
Will it start a fight?
No I don't think she has a clue.

Well, my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words just makes me weak.

And I
never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Instrumental Break

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words just makes me weak.

And I
never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

And I
never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why are you calling me so late?

why should I?! *emo can?

I love myself.

It's my choice and decision.

It's my freedom and thinking.

It's my life and world.

why are you* alway affecting me?

I feel like 'you set a rule for me but you got another rule.' doesnt matter. There wont me any answer to my questions. It already puzzled me for almost 2years. Make me crazy, I will make insane decision.

I wanna survive alone. Independent. No one can affect me.

---

SP reject my appeal. Im so fucked once again. I need a smoke. I need to relax. I need to strive hard for my future. I will do better than you*! Enough! Im just going thru a lil part of life.

For some reason... I take back what I have said in the previous post...

LG Viewty KU 990

Take a Peek!

Listening to "Teardrops on my guitar", "Bleeding love" and "Say (All I need) make me feel like I am back in Bangkok with Mikhail. Take a look at the calendar, "3 march 08 - 6 march 08) make me feel rather low to know that I am back in Sg. Its not because I love Bangkok so much but just love the time with Mikhail so much. In a country, No one know us, No gossip from friends... I guess this was the most memorable moment for the year.

Without him knowing about that Saturday night, Sentosa, I wouldnt have even hear this with my own ears(sometimes people just need assurance on somethings, isnt it?). "Do You Know How Much I Love You?" If I know that long before, I wouldnt have go against him to do harm for the relationship, I wouldnt have go out of sg/disappear. For his few words in the sentence, forgive and forget w/o any complain for what he've done me wrong before. I wouldnt mind if I got no privacy... There's more to come...

I am on MC today. See a doctor, Went POSB n UOB. New CARDS!! I wonder what am I doing online in the past. Recently, theres nothing for me to do at all. Been reading xiaxue, dawn and ester's blog.

Xiaxue (www.xiaxue.blogspot.com) - interesting post, mean at times
Dawn (www.dawnyang.com) - boring, all about her life. Just there browsing pictures.
Ester (www.the-miracle-season.blogspot.com) - read for the sake of reading

Now I realise there's a lot people anti Dawn yang (perhaps she fake about her race and plastic surgery). I dont know for what reason but there's people creating a blog about her, editing on her post. http://weblog.xanga.com/dawn_wayang its kinda interesting though. I dont understand why are there people posting their own blog address in dawnyang's blog . But ester got free phone and camera. OH MAN! I want it too! LG KU 990. Been Eyeing for that.

Stomp! another interesting website! www.stomp.com.sg ! I should write about my wicked ITE Lecturer! One day when I am free! That's what I've been doing online.

My Mp3 spoil already. cant charge. Its time the mp3 dying. been using it since secondary school times. Time to get a Samsung mp3 or any nicer one?! I love all the touch-screen stuff. look so nice and cool.

Alright, I rush home waiting for Mikhail to call me. He NEED me to do some BETTING for him. LOL and so I am home now. Waiting like a fool for his call. (He is the one pleasing me to do him a favor but why am i the one waiting) WHAT TO DO!? lol...

stroll

Long weekend OVER! Back to work! I hate to do OT esp when I know that my pay is lil and I still have to do OT. Dont waste my life! Been trying to figure out how the whole system run in the company. A lil of achievement here! hehe! I know the rest of pile of work to do but I cant help much too. Moreover, I did not get extra pay. Its alway about money. During office hour, I produce my best of best work from me. After office hour, its kinda hard to focus though unless I get a pay rise or maybe at least pay me on OT.

Sunday was a enjoyable day. Someone brought me to science center. Its like "WOAH! YOU? To JURONG?!" its the company make it so fun.

Last night, jeremy call me. Miracle ah he will call me. His cousin wants my number. I told mik abt this and I just simply hate him saying "up to you" with !!! included somemore. anyway I am not interested with his cousin. unless he's a English man! or ... haha.. woo turns me on man!

Drifting way

Just cant stop listening to this song.

Past - Now

Everything is changing, Everybody is changing too. The 1st time I know him.

This phone
This bike
This character
This lifestyle

Now

That phone
That bike
Character I dont know
That lifestyle

Standing at a distance, looking at him. All I can say, two different world. So near yet so far. I dont know why, these image kept replaying whenever I think of him. "cycling at east coast. I was behind him" "he was riding bike, I was looking at him" "his lil tricks, his lil games" "the boy in him" I miss him. [teary]

Everything change so much. I cant say change but moving on so fast. I am still in the past. whatever. Today was so random.

Jazz Jazz

Just some random thoughts I have awhile ago. One of our friend is getting married, in fact, Im not close with her but just a random thoughts that they can really give in/sacrifice for the love. I dont mean it is wrong but at my age now, is the time that all of us enjoy. After getting married = game over for the fun. Fun as in, hanging out with friends, a lil of nightlife and life wont be the same like before. (oh man, why am I sound like marriage is like a lock-up). Alright, have not reach the stage, wont know how to feel like. But staying together with someone you love/like for a short period of time, it sure will feel like HEAVEN. But long term wise, HAHAHA, perhaps it need a lot of give and take. I mean I dont know.

I am not ready for all these. I want my career, my stable income to come 1st. I dont wanna rely on my damn future husband. hahaha! At least, one day, if he abandon me, I still can survive on my own. (im alway so negative huh) I am training myself, I wanna transform to someone different.

Blogging... I feel like Im communicating with myself. I mean, feel nice. Although it wont feel as good as talking to someone but at least ... u know.. haha

I got into this company. "Jim and Hall's" as a draughtsman. 9am - 6pm. Gotta extend working hours if there's unfinished work. A lil training for myself. Meantime, Im looking up for short courses. I will move on with this kind of job after I got a lil of experience.

Got A interview later at 915am. I doubt I can pass the interview. Portfolio so not professional. After interview, gotta go down to airport for my cheque.

I hope hes doing good...

laugh with my heart feel sour. smile with my heart bleeding. going on with life as if its really so happening, in fact, its a total mess. if everything still not go smoothly in 2months time, i will go with my last solution.

cried

Don is the person that let me open my eyes on what kind of men exist in this earth, someone who caused me so much problem, the first person to let me fall onto the solid ground hardly and a person who ruin my everything. I thought of revenge all these while. I never even forget the hurt he has given me. at times, im so tired of guess what some other people is thinking in mind. Im so tired of being someone alway having motive. So tired of thinkin and thinkin.

I want to be what I am before. Someone play too hard, forget about studies. Someone enjoy friends company without bothering are they using me. I wish I could restart my life to the year of 1989 sep 9. study hard, play hard and get to a good school. My parents wasnt well educated but they were happy go lucky parents. Perhaps that is where I learn about life a lil. So what if i envy friends that are rich and parents well educated. I never tot that this day will come. Study till no school accept me. Where's my goal ? I no longer know. Wheres my confident ? Wheres my courage ? Im so weak now.

One the previous post about liz... On that issue, I cried. Since when Ive become someone so weak?! my life is totally in a mess now. I never felt this way for so long and alway tot I am able to cope with all these again.

That shooting star I saw... I wish to be a successful person, to be rich. The second shooting star... I wish .../. My hand hurt. But Im enjoyin the pain. At least It distract a lil of my heartache. spacing out again. im so useless being a nineteen year old girl. realising mistakes too late. Rely on people too much. someone might as well just throw me to some place I dont know .

last few times, I wanna blade. knowing i will fall hard on the floor and gettin myself injure. enjoy my self torturing. Seeing blood I feel glad. im so sadistic. What should I do next? god, guide me thru this. I know its lil matter but please... I dont wanna feel any heartache. A person without feeling... how will it be like???

Mahjong

I cant sleep!! I slept at 6+am again! Last night I lose S$10 at mahjong At least not so bad la! I still prefer playing with my click. One of them stay at Bukit Timah condo, he say that the electricity were much expensive than the other estate. (i alway tot its all the same rating) I not use to taking sports bike can. damn scary and being stubborn, dont wanna anything. Cold sweat! I rather take public transport. haha.

Another mahjong section coming up. Xian and the rest making their way here already. wish me luck!

Loser

http://www.whosgoing.sg/viewprofile.php?id=60465

oh ya.. i met this fellow a few days ago. Oh man! its one of Worse people I ever met! Boy, things dont come easy =) I wonder why are there girls willing to have a fling like him? because he owns a MITSUBISHI GLX LANCER? and its a OFF PEAK CAR! RED COLOUR PLATE! lol. he wasnt as good looking in the pictures though. In fact, he is not good looking! lol!

he got really total off when i say "Im here for a chat. Nothing more" He sent me home straight. Hes a proud fellow and over-confident.

P.S : a superb car / bike is not going to attract me to be related to you. dont try to boast about your car, career or how good is your life. Open ur eyes and see people who are doing better than you. you're still at the beginning! total turn off boy!

Sometimes... thinking about it... looking at his life and my life... the lifestyle... everything is so different... esp when i take a look at his friendster profile.. i feel that theres a huge distant with him...

ITE

Now, let me ask you, why ITE having a term of 'Its The End'? Problem lies with the lecturer or the students? I believe problem lies with both sides though. I've met nice lecturer in ITE and taught me valuable lessons and life lessons. But some were just in school for the sake of the pay and themselves.

ITE is like a stepping stone to Polytechnic, a step forward to life. Its the environment and influences in school make it harder to study and concentrate. There will alway be students wanting to study hard and moving forward to their next steps of life. Admitting it was tough studying there, it wasnt because the module is tough but its the environment.

In ITE, I listen what I am suppose to do. any questions I rather to find out myself. Sometimes, I just need extra help from lecturer to do better. But how am I suppose to do better without the lecturer willingly help? There is once, I asked my lecturer a question, but she wasnt sure how to answer my question. instead of helping me and guiding me, she change the topic. I tried asking and explaining my questions for help but it wasnt helpful at all. About Autocad, I asked her some questions on this software instead of helping me, she push me to another lecturer. Now that my work was not up to her expectation (she grade student strictly when her teaching method seriously is not professional enough), she gave me a B. I need her testimonial to do a lil help for me to get into polytechnic. I do as what she says. Send my particular to her email. from then till now, i've tried calling her but she alway fail to pick up my call. I am student very concern about my future but she's not helping me. perhaps i should just help myself. one grade C pull all my grades down. I just need a n extra GPA 0.063 to go polytechnic.

p.s : Hopefully people going ite, get a nice lecturer. good luck

winks

lol... I deleted my friendster account for quite sometime and elaine just realise. tsk! they ask why and they are "DIAO" with my answer. Today's hang out was fun. Saw mik in the afternoon at tamp. actually i was guessing where he will be having lunch. but i just follow the flow. " with the fate, i will see him" the funniest part is why my heart beat so fast?! its not like im admiring him secretly. wahaha. nobody will view this blog and nobody cares. thats the best part! i can type in whatever I want. just a sudden feeling. liking someone but not being together wasnt that bad. but there's still souring feeling inside at times. There's sweet and sour feeling. when he move on, i will move on too. I have sort of expect for the worse though.

Meet up w xiu ling, aida, elaine and elaine's friend. lunch. pool. coffee. psp. I lost my ez link card today. no feeling though. later at night meet up w jerry at tampines together w aida for dinner. THE BIG BULLY OF THE DAY! JERRY! lol.

I feel like Im entertaining myself after certain things i've done. take it or leave it.

Bangkok~!

=((

What a day!

Damn printer! freak! I need to print some important documents earlier AND ... I found out that my freaky printer RAN OUT of ink! AND this make DON ... Hero of the day! He help me with the printing. Since he is in office.. "MAKE USE OF THE FACILITIES! THATS THE WAY!" lol

My pics were all in laptop. havent get a chance to use the lappy. Nevermind... one day i will post up the pics on bangkok. ONE DAY! Just summit DAE application form to NYP but I still have to send my result slip to the school by 14 march. What kind of student am i?! Not even a school want me! There's courses but im just being picky! maybe i should fuck off to oversea ya? hee

Edwin wanted to meet me but I just got so turn off to see him. IN FACT, I totally forget about Im meeting him earlier 6pm at tampines. I mean I dont feel comfortable with him. Dont feel enjoyable at all. why must I waste my energy?! Freak! go away!

Today - Chocolate Day for me! tit bits! haha!! Xian need a MC for 2days and I pretend to be lye xian hui for a couple of mins. "KENG" /"GENG" (whatever the spelling) just for my darling. USING the same of story.. "doc, i got a strain ligament. did x-ray. but still pain." and resulting 2DAYS MC!

smile

I was surprise that he called me early in the morning... sharing the same feeling as how i feel. I want him but i cant him. In the beginning, we said we will not think about how future will be like. I dont know how we go about but in the end, the future thingy still affect us. well.. let nature take its course. when its yours its yours. yep

i've done my appeal letter to sp and tender my resignation letter. now time to do some research on private school and study loan not forgetting going back to school for recommendation letter from former lecturer. my portfolio too ( very important) i need a superb ones and professional! so tough! =(

suntec IT show. I saw ivan again at IT show. tsk! i wonder why is there so many of blackie?! kept push and push! nb! feel like pushing them hard! forget it! LAPTOP LAPTOP LAPTOP! ate ice cream! so so nice... hehe.. chocolate!! jerry is sick in Cambodia. so poor thing.. must be enjoy too much with all the girls there. been treated like a king. being serve.

4D is really waste of money. tsk! not even near! not even a single sign of it! KNN!

p.s i wish i wish i wish ...

Imagine

Been thinking and imagine how life will be different going for oversea studying. I dont know why, but there's something that I just wanna run away from. I will feel totally relax not been in Singapore. No matter where, as long I step out of Singapore I feel great. But leaving here for oversea studies will be a great challenge for me. Im not strong enough, not independent enough. Perhaps I should just being throw somewhere knowing Im just alone and only I can help myself.

Bangkok is just a memory with him. Perhaps Im just finding reason running away. Im going nowhere with this damn nitec cert. Im so far away from what I wanted. No point complaining. Help myself!! arghh... focus on what I want in life now. no more boys boys thingy.

BANGKOK

Back In Singapore. I left my heart in bangkok. Forgot to bring it back. Spent a 4days 3nights there with Mikhail. Enjoyment all I can say. Shop till you drop. Everything I see I wanna buy. 4days and 3nights was so happy with him. Its just a short-term happiness. Back in Singapore = Back to reality. Been observing and seeing him from behind without any judging. Hes been so nice making sure Im not lost, holding me tight when we are at sleazy area. I guess this trip was so sweet and nice becos of his company. In fact this trip leave me wanting him even more. But knowing that impossible and sadly leaving it behind.

1st day then 2nd day then come the 3rd day (wish it was just the 1st day) and I got so so low when its the 4th day. Shop and shop, explore and explore. =) Pictures and videos i want it to be in here. Sealed it in my memories.

The bedrooms. The Taxi. The skytrain. The environment. The massage. The kisses. The hugs. The hands. I miss them all. Happiness alway will come to an end. Gotta move on again.

I'll be back Bangkok!

---

My application for poly was unsuccessful. I got so lost, confused, sad and pressured. Hours of thinking.

First, I shall

Appeal again
then
Private
then
Oversea studies

Gotta check out the study loan. The courses. So what if I got top 25% in the whole school. In The End (ITE), I fail to go poly. My mood level is blinking. (low) My emotional level is blinking too. I feel like Im left with nothing. Im so useless right now. Im so dependent. Im feel like Im a child knowing nothing at all. My confident level is blinking also. Im so so low right now.

go away!

Im going bangkok in a day time! =)

Oh.. someone beat around the bush asking if Im going oversea this coming good friday?! I dont even know good friday is any nearer. He already knows that Im going then why he need to beat around the bush?! I simply dont care if he knows about it at 1st I just want him to get the idea of GET OUT OF MY LIFE! And he start off with a "girls are complicated" eh! but your brain consider as the MUCH COMPLICATED ONES AMONG THE MALE SPECIES. even you're trying to be concern or kpo or whatever ... I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM! (too complicated) im sorry but I just dont like it. esp on giving me ur "ADVICE" or "YOUR SAY". but what do you know?! or how much you know?! BItCH!! BITCH!
i shall call you the "complicated boy"
Its my space. I got my rights to complaint here!

Im still totally in love with my PSP. tsk!

kiss my anus

Today really not my day! FUCK! LIZ smell my fart! too lazy to type what had happen. shes such a bitch. I dint not manage to hit my 10k. thanks to her for snatching. bitch! thats working life. I can see myself keep on changing job in future. I need to be stronger to counter attack all the bitches! pui!

SDG 500 more!

S$500 more to go! tomorrow will be the last day hitting 10k! pray pray hard! Evening time was kinda busy. Got so panic doing the damn cashier and customer coming in again and again. How am I suppose to serve 3 customers at one time?! KILL ME! lol

T2 morning... forever so dead! 3more working days before Im heading to bangkok! Im just looking forward for the flight! hehe! gotta check out what I wanna do and what should I buy! hohoho!

Graduate Again!

I graduate again! Went back to ITE collect my Certificate. =) MeEt up with kiff, jeremy and lin jin. (where's the rest?!) Miss all of them! Because of them, my school life got brighten up or else my ITE will be so dull. Graduate means lesser time to hang out =( Ben working in airport also! One day, I should just pop by at T3 to visit him!

The feeling of lending money from others sucks! Especially from my sis. =( One last time i'll do all these for you (hopefully). I dreamt about you* last night. Everything seems quite real. Taking it as a sign. Well, his dear friend is giving me unnecessary pressure and affection. Well... Their contacts I've already deleted. I dont wish to contact with any of them. one of them still pisses me off though. I wish I could tell him off! GETALIFE! GETALIFE NELSON TAN! GO AWAY! STOP TELLING ME OR ASKING ME ABOUT MIKHAIL AND MYSELF! YOU WANNA KNOW ANYTHING GO ASK HIM. HE IS YOUR FRIEND. YOU ARE JUST MY EX-BF'S FRIEND! DO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER?! FREAK YOU! GOAWAY! (THINK MORE ABOUT YOURSELF! REFLECT YOURSELF ON THE PAST! THINK ABOUT YOUR OWN FAILED RELATIONSHIP! THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE LIFE! YOU GOT SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT SO DONT WORRY ABOUT MY LIFE WITH MIKHAIL. =) ) maybe you're just concern and being caring. but i dont know where you are coming from or what are you trying to hint! oh please! i wont be like someone to ruin your whole damn friendship thingy.

IF any of you just come across reading this.. and got so pissed off... my advice.. close this window and dont ever come back. its my own space so give me a break bitches and bastard!

My sales hit 8plus thousand! 2k more to go! I want it to be 10k! was surfing net and found alot of interesting pics and website... Just love them so much! I will simply enjoy those kind of email.



The realistic drawing .. TOO REALISTIC CAN! ITS SO AMAZING! they use chalk to do it. How amazing!

im sad

2nights in a row KTV'ing. Not as fun as I expected. My throat gotta SUFFER!! Slack my whole morning and afternoon away just to be ready for work tml. Tml mid shift again. Damn boring can! Prefer to be busy rather than nothing to do at sales floor. arggh!

Hmmm... Someone sound so wierd when he called me earlier. Not sure whats wrong but Im just being concern. I shall not think about or hope about anything again. Im so not into relationship now. what i mean is that not thinking so much about it. more like letting 'fate' show me the way. used to believe I should go on achieve what I want but now seems to be different. sometimes, no matter how hard i try, how much effort i put in but in the end, i still get nothing. maybe the amount of effort is not enough. people change isnt it.

Im already on holiday mood! =( 7days of work to go. 3 Mid flight 2 Early flight 2 Late flight. I wish tml was 3 of march =(

Makan Makan Makan

=( xian cant go poly. Her result is not eligible to enter any course. Went to TP with her to appeal for her courses but turn out none of the poly accept her. =( Since her mood was so bad, we ate all the fattening food. OH MAN!!! until now im still so guilty! 1st. Pastamania then a Häagen-Dazs Ice cream. We ate the cheezy cheezy stuff then a fondue. We got so high and noisy when we got the fondue. We've notice that we forever cannot make up our mind on where to go and what we want. lol. (maybe we are the youngest in the family. hehe)



There's nothing to talk abt pastamania. But for fondue... Im Virgin with Fondue. heehee.
After a heavy lunch and desert.. Went back to my house and we eat again. Oh man!

Went to K with them. Totally boredom. Everything was like so lousy can~!

Jerry gave me "The power of Love" CD. Love it can! Jerry I love you lah! hahaha

Fart at you bitch!

Damn boring at work can! Ytd, for the whole morning and afternoon totally no sales for me. In fact, airport was really so dead! wander souls floating around asking for the prices and float out.. -.- can you imagine? before clocking out at least manage to close 2 sales. But today... supervisor snatch my sales. KNN! KAN NI NA! I can close the sales myself. Last few days, same shift w her she's never around but today! when she sees Im serving a potential buyer... within second, shes beside me and start to serve. WTF!! She oso best la... It goes like this, "eh, the sales I put my name cos just now doing the cashiering you wasnt there but you willing to give me the sales?" lol. Though this is my fifth day of work and my sales is catching up with her. This shows that her sales really sucks! tsk! such a bitch! but luckily, im fixed comm. =)) so Just take it that I DONATE this. NO NO! I throw this lil comm. money to this lil poor beggar. ( i'll feel much better if i give money to beggar rather than her. ) she starts explaining and telling cant do this blah blah blah.. simple, she just dont want me to gossip abt her.

I was buying Cleo earlier at interchange, this uncle tendering the stall, he look at me and say "miss, you very pretty. can we be friends? why not lets exchange number?" I was like "errr.. why not you write it down on a paper. later i call you" (I dono how to reject.)
he asked for my number... .. i told him i dont remember my own number. He wrote it down on a Today's 4D result printed by sg pool. SO happily, I look at all the 4D numbers. Most of the numbers were quite familiar to me... hmmm ...

Madness

Today my Sales ... hmmm Not bad!! 2nd day on sales floor and I get about 3.5K sales. hey its A lil achievement Alright!!

Someone was madly in love with Don. Not bad for him... at this kind of age, theres still Women/Girls loving him so deeply. Hes driving the girls/women crazy. Hes such a bitch! if he knows, he gotta tickle me to death! lol

DON PLEASE DONT KiLL me IF U See This!!


her tactic was so similar to mine.. tsk tsk.. same kind.. now I know Im so irritating like her! hahaha!!! Oh man! i better change!

PS : I love you!

1% love 99% lust... lol

Huat ah!!

Valentine Post

Alright Alright I was so fed up with Mik's friend previously. About V'day, Jun wei was really sweet that he came all the way down from Boon lay to pass me V'day present. Im really touched though. I've not seen him for about 3months and no much contact but he still came all the way down to my doorstep. tsk. tears... Oh man!!! lol...

Im just so particular with people giving me advice. Unless you're someone that I am close with and someone I look up in life. I hate it when theres people dont even know much about me and start to tell me all sort of things that I dont even agree with. The best part is... I find it totally no logic. Im still pissed w the thing on the previous post. irritating.

Goaway!

OH ! I was so pissed with Mik's friend. When I was trying my best to move on, he came out of nowhere continuously asking about the possibility patching things back with Mik. Now, he still kept asking about Mik and I but this time, hoping us not to harm one another. Oh dear. What is your problem? Did you actually solve your relationship problem with ur beloved ex-gf? or did you manage to move on? Thanks for being so concern alright. its so extra. you just gave me pressure and made my life miserable. your concern is too heavy for me. I rather not have it.

At 1st, you came out of nowhere, i get a lil shifted w you talking abt mik. Now, you trying to tell me to move on. WTF! Stop interfering my life when you dont even know what's going on here my dear! why so many of you giving me A one kind of look? I feel . Fine fine.. I leave ur dear friend, Mikhail alright. =)


I injure myself 2days ago while doing stock taking. Strain my ligament. Its so painful that I cried. =( I was on the wheel chair for 4hrs . Did X-ray. Jerry was sweet enough to send me back home from changi airport. He's forever so sweet! =)

Complains!

When you* need me, I'll be there but that doesnt mean Im able to be alway there. No matter how tired or lazy I am when you say you're not in the mood, I go down to meet you.

You need company going out with **. okay, I go down with you. Have a drink together. You want me to take care of you. Im sorry I failed to. I've to leave. Its pointless for me to explain or clarify anything. Admitting its my fault but I wish to tell you that be responsible with what you're doing.

But I alway believe, no matter what happen, be responsible and take good care of your own self. No matter how much you trust a friend, there's alway time they fail to do so. Have you ever notice that I dont even go to you when I need someone to talk to desperately? ( I know you got your own life and no xtra time ) I know its my fault but get the idea that you got to be responsible for your own safety. There's no free lunch in this world. Its not like I drink your/his liquor. FYI, I pay for my own drinks.

Im just feeling not fair for myself. Im not even calculative with you on anything. Why cant you just understand a lil and help yourself out of that situation? Im alway playing the bad guy role. Seeing our 10yrs of friendship. I dint say much. Already been thru so much but Im just feeling being treated unfairly...

Jerry! I Love You Lah!

I almost Fainted last night! Stars Stars Stars ( I tot Dragonfly got some lighting problem ) Ear Blocked ( I tot there was some problem with the sound system ) Then I realise I was about to faint! hahaha! Im slow man! So dizzy! I looked as if Im drunk. After I puke, I tot Im going to be fine. BUT... I WAS WRONG! Soon enough, I see stars again..

Here Come My HERO of the night! Jerry~! He sent me home all the way from St James. Im super duper Touched alright. He has alway been so nice to me. I Love Him! Oh man...! hahahaha!

I got a Eye Candy! Hehehe... Hopefully he does not turn me off after knowing his personality... hehehe...

wierd...

Why am I feeling so different?? Having a great interest with this boy, after having him in my arms, the next moment, felt so irritated and just wanna kick him aside. Boys that come near me, I wish to kill. Only boys that I know in the past will be able to get close to me. New boys... I just wish to kill. why am I having such a feeling?

Random

Family. Relationship with people. Studies. Career. Is that all in life? Alway keep thinking and wonderful about what's life all about... No matter what, we will still
die. But what happen in between is the moment of life that worth cherish.

Getting to know different kind of people. Getting together with someone you ever like/love. Breaking up with someone you used to like/love. Knowing certain things wont improve with one-sided trying/belief.

Fall and land hardly on the ground. Fear,Experience,Change. Fear to fall, Experience the fall, change to make it different. No matter how much we're being influenced/change, afterall, we're responsible for who we've become.

Born to be rich, to be poor. Everyone coming from different background but that doesnt give you the right to criticize on others who dont come from as good family background as you're. Everybody being brought up differently.